Weddings Around The World: Lebanese Wedding
If there’s one thing the Lebanese love to do, it’s celebrate any and every occasion, and no other event tops a wedding! If you were invited to a Lebanese wedding, you’re in for a real treat because these weddings are just as much about family and friends as they are about the couple’s union. Just make sure you’re ready to eat lots of delicious food and dance the night away! With fireworks, drummers, belly dancers, jaw-dropping cakes, and awe-inspiring decor, you’ll have a magical experience like never before!
Before we get into the wedding, let’s talk a little bit about the engagement party! Most Lebanese engagements, called a ‘do,’ will take place six months to a year prior to the wedding. These parties can range anywhere from a small gathering with only the bride and groom’s parents present to a big celebration with lots of family and friends. Muslim couples have a ceremony called a “katb al-kitab,” which is the Islamic wedding ceremony in which witnesses watch the couple and officiant sign the marriage contracts. Without this ceremony, the marriage is nonexistent! The officiant recites sections of the Quran as well as prayers, and the families give their blessings. Now, the couple is legally and religiously married, and the party can take place several months later.
Christian couples must contact a priest at least six months before the wedding, as pre-marriage formation classes are required. There are a few requirements surrounding Lebanese weddings that can make it difficult for some couples to marry. Civil marriages are very rarely recognized. Therefore, in interfaith marriages, one partner must convert to the other’s religion. To avoid this obstacle, Lebanese couples can have a civil marriage in a different country, and the marriage will be fully recognized in Lebanon.
Lebanese couples take part in a pre-wedding celebration called a “laylieh,” which can be similar to a bachelor/bachelorette party. The groom’s family throws a party for the groom, and the bride’s family does the same for her. Eventually, the groom, along with his friends and family, will crash the bride’s party, signifying him “stealing her away.” For a more intimate celebration, the bride and groom’s families can host it at their respective homes, or it can be held at an extravagant venue or hall. As per any Lebanese event, lots of food, drinks, music, and dancing are present, so you’re sure to have a great time!
Yay, the wedding day is finally here! Close family members gather at the bride’s house while she gets ready with her bridesmaids. The bride’s parents serve traditional sweets, such as kanafeh and baklava. When the bride is done getting ready, the groom’s parents arrive to present the bride with a gift of gold jewelry to be worn for the wedding. The in-laws then escort the bride out of her home, while the women in both families offer their blessings with “zalghouta,” or high-pitched tongue and throat sounds. The families are led by a group of drummers and dancers as neighbors and onlookers throw flower petals, candied almonds, and rice symbolizing prosperity, good health, and fertility for the couple.
In Lebanon, the wedding ceremony must take place in a church or Muslim Court. In older times, each ring was stamped with a seal representing each person. Now, the rings symbolize “the seal and protection of Christ.” Another old tradition is the crowning, which involves the priest placing a flower crown on the bride and groom’s head representing Christ and His Kingdom. Some brides still wear flower crowns today, but many wear tiaras and carry a bouquet instead. Finally, the couple unites their souls with a kiss, and it’s off to the reception! Back in the day, the large crowds that gathered in the streets to see the couple off would bang pots and pans together in an effort to protect them from evil spirits. Now, the crowds honk their car horns instead.
One of the most essential elements of a Lebanese wedding, the “zaffé,” is the bride and groom’s grand entrance into the ceremony and reception. A Lebanese wedding without a zaffé is unheard of and considered incomplete! The couple dances their way into both events (for the first time as husband and wife following the ceremony) behind a “dabke” group, which is a team of traditional Lebanese folk dancers, and sometimes belly dancers symbolizing the bride’s transformation into a sensual woman. Family and friends form a circle around the spectacle clapping, dancing, and enjoying the celebration. Music and dancing are a huge part of Lebanese weddings, so be sure to join in on the fun!
Sharing food with family and friends is a vital part of the Lebanese and all Middle Eastern cultures, and that doesn’t change on the wedding day. The reception often includes a “mezze,” or multiple small dishes served with alcoholic or nonalcoholic beverages. These can include platters of olives, tahini, yogurt, and salad; vegetables and eggs; and small or big dishes of fish and meat. These weddings can also include a three-course meal with Lebanese and Middle Eastern foods, such as kibbeh, kafta, tabouleh, fattoush, rice pilaf, manakish, and sfeeha. As for dessert, it’s customary to see fancy displays filled with traditional sweets, such as baklava, kanafeh, maamoul, atayef, and nammoura, just to name a few. Our mouths are watering just thinking about them!
Large crowds are a running theme throughout a Lebanese wedding. Family is so important to the Lebanese that the couple's extended family and their extended family’s extended family is invited to the wedding! And we hope they’re ready for a spectacular light show! Fireworks are a unique part of Lebanese weddings that guests really look forward to, making the night even more of a fairytale. What comes after the fireworks? You guessed it, more dancing! For more reasons than one, these Lebanese couples sure don’t tire easily. Instead of being the first to leave their wedding to embark on the honeymoon, the bride and groom must remain at the reception until all of their guests have left. Leaving while guests are still celebrating is considered disrespectful.
The wedding cake and most importantly, the cutting of it, are a special part of the reception, usually completed during or before the firework display. Lebanese wedding cakes are very extravagant, sometimes exceeding nine tiers (Whoa!), and are often covered in ornate floral designs. In ancient times, bakers would make the cakes out of wheat (a symbol of fertility) or barley to then be broken over the bride’s head to represent her fertility. The sweetness of the cake was supposed to introduce sweetness into the bride and groom’s new life together. Now, couples carry on the tradition by cutting the cake in unison, the groom placing his hand over his bride’s. As in various Arab cultures, many Lebanese couples cut the cake with a sword. For Muslim weddings, that sword is passed down to the groom by his family.
It’s a good thing these venues speak for themselves because they’re leaving us pretty speechless! Both ceremony and reception often take place at a wonderful destination, like Dubai, Amman, Cairo, Riyadh, and Doha, and as you can see, they’re decorated to perfection and are always spacious to make room for lots of dancing!
You didn’t think we’d forget about the wedding dress, did you? These Lebanese brides are nothing short of princesses! Many brides choose elaborate gowns with a plethora of tasteful lace and sparkly details in a traditional white. These wedding dresses are an investment, but definitely a worthwhile one! Off the rack, they can cost about $4,000, and custom gowns can cost as much as $400,000. Many Lebanese brides choose to wear designers, Zuhair Murad and Elie Saab, who are Lebanese themselves, and are known for their extravagant gowns. The dresses are often paired with an elegant veil or tiara to tie the whole look together, and Muslim brides usually style their hijab to match.